We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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