i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize