its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
