Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
