The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
