TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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