Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
