Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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