I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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