I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize