i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
