My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
