I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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