I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize