I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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