after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
