You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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