This is not my ceiling
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
