His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
