pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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