At least make sure they are 18
Why
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
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