what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize
