remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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