why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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