Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
