I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
