I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
