My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
