if only i could text you this smell
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
