eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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