god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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