Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
