Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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