he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
