Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
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