That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
Randomize
