I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
