Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
