I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
