I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
