if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
