can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
