I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
