sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Randomize
