Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
