Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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