So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
