dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
the raccoons are back...
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