i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
