Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize