You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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