All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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