So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
