just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
You know, be my cock's hype man.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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