um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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