Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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