if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
