does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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